Ever so often, a kid comes around that is so gifted you must take notice.
I present to you….
My 3yr old cousin DJ
THE FUTURE OF DANCE!!!!
The Future of Dance
30 Tuesday Jun 2009
Posted in Flyyness
Monthly Archives: June 2009
Declaration
30 Tuesday Jun 2009
Posted in Pain, Who Is Jaz
There’s nothing anyone can do to me that hasn’t already been done.
I am an adult child of alcoholism.
-Jaz
Move!!
23 Tuesday Jun 2009
Posted in Randomness, Who Is Jaz
Tags
As an official citizen of the Hip Hop Nation, I live my life through music.
The following video represents how I’m feeling & what I’d do if I didn’t have a bad back, bad knees, bad elbows, and well…..you get the point!!!
Presenting: LUAM
Untitled
23 Tuesday Jun 2009
Posted in Pain
For the first time, I’m at a complete loss of words for how I’m feeling. There’s not one word I’ve found that sums it up. I’m overwhelmed with emotion, but don’t know what type. I have decided to graduate from Rockhurst University. Wow. That’s the hardest sentence I’ve ever had to write. I can hardly even bring myself to say it. Anyone who knows my journey, knows my story, and knows my heart, understands the enormous weight it carries.
I fought three long, hard, emotional years for my full tuition scholarship to Clark Atlanta University. They wronged me. Because of their negligence, I went through hell. I feel robbed of a life I’ll never get back. I finally found true lifelong friends. Clark Atlanta University robbed me of precious time. I hate what they did to me. It’s not okay. I’m not the only student they have treated like crap over the years. We bust our asses and we give them bragging rights. We stress over who is gonna cosign for our next student loan or how in the hell we’re gonna pay them back 6 months after graduation. They ignore us.
They somehow feel it’s okay to not return our phone calls, cop an attitude when we try to straighten out our financial aid, and blissfully fuck up our schedules or not enroll us at all. Yet still we sing, “Oh Hail Clark Atlanta!” W.E.B DuBois would be flipping over in his grave if he knew what was going on.
I fought that system for three long hard years, and still didn’t win.
Yes, it’s true they renewed my $17,000/yr Tuition Scholarship. Somehow they still managed to screw me over. I only completed 3 semesters at CAU….Only 4 semesters were reinstated. On April 2nd I took a trip to Atlanta and personally saw to it that all my affairs were in order. I don’t understand why it’s almost July and my transfer credits still haven’t been evaluated…I have not been enrolled in classes…I do not even have a financial aid package. Really?..I mean really?! What’s really good CAU???
These past three years have taught me that a school does not make me who I am. It doesn’t determine my life. Jasmine Danielle Taylor was enrolled at Clark Atlanta University just as I was enrolled at Rockhurst University, University of Missouri Kansas City, and Devry University Online. I am not my school.
While I feel Clark fucked me. It was just as good for me as it was for them. I squeezed Clark for every life lesson I could. Right now I’m makin it do what it do baby! I learned about networking, mentorships, community service, and entrepreneurship. Those professors cared more about me than the majority of my own family members. I received self pride and confidence. I learned about my past, therefor allowing me to respect my future. Come to think of it, outside of my humanities class, I can’t really remember gaining any actually book knowledge that I didn’t already have.
It’s time to move on. I’m not quitting. I’m not giving up. I’m not sad. I’m not hopeful. I’m not fighting. I’m not loosing. I’m simply moving and growing.
The Blueprint
22 Monday Jun 2009
Posted in Lessons Learned, Life
I never thought I’d be here. Six hours ago, I didn’t know I’d be up at 4am blogging. Twelve months ago, I never would have imagined that I’d be back in the house I love so much pissing excellence without a craving for anything toxic to my health. Five years ago, I figured that I’d be a Clark Atlanta University graduate currently living in Atlanta.
Truth is, I’m barely halfway finished with college. I most likely will not be graduating from good ol CAU, and I’m perfectly happy with my life. I think I finally became content with myself and began to live instead of existing, when I let go of the control I thought I had. Once I finally realized that I have absolutely no idea what the blueprint for my life is….nor will I ever see the plans….that’s when everything started working out for me.
It took me almost 23 years to start figuring out how God works. He’s like a master architect. There is definitely a plan for my life and God has the blueprints. I had to finally realize that they weren’t meant for me to see….frankly I don’t want to see what he’s building in regards to me. You must follow God with blind faith. If you listen closely, God will give you the instructions for your life….one at a time. There are times when you’ll step back and look at what you’ve built so far and think you know what it is. The moment you think you have things figured out, God switches it up and you are left scratching your head. Just give it up….
Let Go and Let God.
It took a while, but I finally understand that shirt. It means that you truly let go and you allow God to lead you by peace to make life choices. You may not understand why things are happening, or expect things to happen, but God has his hands on every single aspect of your life. Two months ago, I celebrated the victory of getting my scholarship back. Now, I’m strongly considering passing it up for a prestigious local university. If you’ve been following my story…that notion seems crazier than a bowlegged moose, but it’s were God is leaving my heart.
I trust him, he has the blueprints not me.
For What It’s Worth
20 Saturday Jun 2009
Posted in Lessons Learned, Life
I am not a slave to money.
My health, my sanity, my safety. All things I’ve risked chasing a dollar. The power an intangible object holds is amazing. The things people will do to chase a buck is perplexing. What’s equally curious is that fact that many individuals will turn flips for even the slightest promise of cash. People are so scared they will miss out on something, they are willing to do anything. The mere promise of financial freedom causes people to plunge even further into slavery.
I almost fell victim to the rat race. Chasing money I’ll never see….but caught it.
Through my journey, I’ve learned (and believe) that God is my sufficiency. The minute you start making moves out of fear is the moment you begin to enslave yourself. The only way to truly feel free s to trust God and have faith that he will supply. Cut off energy sucking ties and trust God to replace them with energy giving ties.
Tour the Writing Lab
17 Wednesday Jun 2009
Posted in noteworthy by jaz
You’ve been hearing me speak of this mystical place where I bury myself deep inside to write. I go there to produce blog entries that make you blush, poetry that makes you laugh, and books that make you feel like you have a leg to stand on when hit with a 20 page term paper…
Just like Willie Wonka opened his factory up….I invite you to take a tour of The Writing Lab!!!
Explore, Investigate, Touch Stuff And when you’re all done, use the contact form to send me a note so I know whose been in my lab meddling around!
Save the link.
-Jaz
Ps: I offer student discounts on editing services!
Pissed
17 Wednesday Jun 2009
Posted in Lessons Learned, Life
Tags
I woke up this morning angry. It feels like that is starting to be a more common thing for me now. I get annoyed throughout the day, fight it, then it surfaces in the morning & leaves me feeling like a raging bitch. It may possibly just be a case of PMS, but right now all I can think about is why I’m annoyed. It seems that most of my annoyance stems from business transactions, dealings, or associations. No one, and I mean no one, makes moves as I do.
My business is my passion. This is also my bread and butter….so I work like it. I make business moves. I work hard. My work ethic is to be envied. I picked up my mom’s East Coast pitbull attitude that has a zero tolerance for bullshit. It’s to the point, edgy, and she does not hold back from cutting you off mid-sentence if you are going off topic or rambling (she just did it to me this morning!). I’m hungry.
I hate the feeling of moving at warp speed and then having to slow down to wait for others. It frustrates me because it feels like they are lagging behind. I was born in the midwest to an East Coast mother & a Southern father who drags his feet but once he starts on a project…it’s finished at warp speed. My work ethic embodies the East Coast spirit.
So right now I’m annoyed.
The only solution in sight is to expand my business and pick up more clients. When one client is dragging their feet a bit, I will still have three more that are ready to go. I use this philosophy with men and it’s time to enact it in business.
I have work to do!
Oh Well, Sorry For Ya!!
15 Monday Jun 2009
Posted in Lessons Learned
Tags
I just got home. A tow truck dropped me off. I was stranded. Stranded on an off ramp on the highway. Just me, my trusty “piece of crap” 2002 Dodge Intrepid, a friend I just made up with, and a busted hose spraying radiator fluid inside of my engine and behind my front lights. Something just isn’t right.
A so-called friend just charged me $300.00 to fix my radiator and any leaks associated with it. A week after my radiator was replaced, I was charged $1600 by AAMCO to rebuild by blown transmission and busted T-Rod. Two weeks later, I am stranded on the highway.
The so-called friend did not do what he was paid to do and did not take responsibility for it when he was called. Another so-called friend ignored my phone calls when I tried to get help. I didn’t even bother calling anyone else.
It’s funny how everyone expects me to be there for them. They just know they can call me and I’ll be there or I’ll inconvenience myself to find a way to help. I am always there. Somehow when I need assistance with anything, no one is there….and if they are, their help isn’t free. It has strings attached or a monetary fee.
Well, I’m done.
Everyone besides: LaTonya Jones/Brown, Wanda Porter/Taylor, David Bazzle, Elaine-Termurial-Randall Richardson, and Stephanie Tellis are cut the hell off.
The rules are simple:
- If I haven’t done it for Tonya, I’m not doing it for you.
- If your name is not found on this list, I’m not doing it for you.
- Unless you are paying me a price I have determined or I have accepted, I’m not doing it for you.
There are no gray areas to my rules. I do not care if we come from the same bloodline. I don’t care if you feel your name should be listed and it’s not. I don’t care if you’ll “Get me back later.” I-DO-NOT-CARE! I’m tired of being unappreciated, used, or just flat out scammed. I’m tired of going the extra mile for those who aren’t even willing to budge an inch. I’m tired of being tired about this same issue.
Interesting how my car is usually involved when this issue arises. I remember crying my eyes out in the fall of 2005 because no one was willing to help me drive my car to Atlanta from Kansas City….even with me paying their airfare and for all expenses. My boyfriend at the time talked his homeboy into making the drive. I was so pissed I turned down the offer. I felt and still feel it shouldn’t take all of that to get someone to help me out. Then there was the time everyone wanted to drive my car or wanted me to run them somewhere. I made less than $4,000 that entire year. Funny how no one ever wanted to give me the proper amount of gas money comparable to their trip, or decided to run extra errands when my tank was on full. Consequently I left my car on E.
I find it equally troubling that a certain someone has never given me a cent for gas in 2 years, has no problem asking me to run him (or his family) somewhere, and will use my car for other people….feels I owe him something. If you call me “sis” but nickel and dime me every time I turn around then I’m not your sis and you aren’t my bro. Hell, you aren’t even fit to be called an associate.
These so-called friends have never told me “Oh
Someday (pt #2)
08 Monday Jun 2009
Posted in Poetry/Spoken Word
Tags
My someday came and it couldn’t have come sooner.
I’m looking back on the Dark Ages and thinking….
(Damn….I made it)
My someday is now And I’m realizing my tomorrow is today And my yesterday is my future Every struggle Every tear Every fear I felt and wondered when my spaceship would come to carry me away from all this bullshit Well my spaceship came and I landed on Jupiter
Now I’m like damn. I’m stuck. I’m living in my someday as I take in my then and focus on my now [wow] My someday was yesterday Everything I wished for, I have. Every prayer came to past I’m humbled at the mere thought of it all Where I was Where I went I lost myself but never forgot myself I am who I was But it’s not who I am…It merely defines me.
It’s the knowledge I gained. The lessons I learned [i'm taking those with me] In the metamorphosis I was determined to fly I eventually spread my wings and became flyy It was short lived. I was on my way up at the same time I was falling down My grand opening was my grand closing That was my time. ….I thought I was so focused on flying I didn’t think about crashing Now I know what it feels to crash and burn leaving a crater in the Eart I’ve flown. I’ve crashed. I’ve died. I’ve ben reborn. I arose from the ashes like a phoenix. Now my passion burns hotter than ever
My soul is like fire I am beautiful like glass Fragile yet strong Cuz glass comes from pebbles and eventually turns to dust Fire moles the particles Together they bond in the heat. in the flame. Fire is what makes me My trial by fire is what makes me strong. I am transparant I want the world to see my struggle It is through my pain that the world can see my growth I feel no shame For it takes a wound to relieve healing and a pitfall to appreciate a blessing There is no victory without loss or sun without rain I am pain. The moment I stopped fighting was the moment I took my first breath It was the moment I decided that my battle had already been won. The battle was not mine I was at war with myself and the devil gave me ammunition I was given all the tools to kill myself All the resources to take others down with me I played Russian Roulette with my life each roll of the dice… pull of the trigger… Upped ante was me seeking a way out. I was stuck.
I created a jail for myself I built the walls and hired prison guards I was in darkness because I turned out the light So here I am. Living my someday Yesterday I was caged Today I am free My someday no longer exists cuz that’s some “Over the Rainbow” type shit. no beginning. no end. It just is. And I’m happy just being. I no longer need tangiable tools to survive God has my back I received all i needed during my journey to my now My soul has bled all that it can bleed I have everything I need. This is not the end to the book, it is only a closing to a chapter. The main character has been developed The plot still undertermined I am not the writer It is time to enter the renaissance These are the chronicles…. Welcome to the rebirth of Jaz [Excerpt has been taken from the final poem of the second act of my life. The first act, entitled "The Metamorphosis" includes pieces I wrote while coming of age in my teenage years. The second act, entitled "The Dark Ages" includes pieces I wrote while searching to find myself. Poetry from hence foreword will be included in the third act, entitled "The Renaissance or Rebirth"]
I’m looking back on the Dark Ages and thinking….
(Damn….I made it)
My someday is now And I’m realizing my tomorrow is today And my yesterday is my future Every struggle Every tear Every fear I felt and wondered when my spaceship would come to carry me away from all this bullshit Well my spaceship came and I landed on Jupiter
Now I’m like damn. I’m stuck. I’m living in my someday as I take in my then and focus on my now [wow] My someday was yesterday Everything I wished for, I have. Every prayer came to past I’m humbled at the mere thought of it all Where I was Where I went I lost myself but never forgot myself I am who I was But it’s not who I am…It merely defines me.
It’s the knowledge I gained. The lessons I learned [i'm taking those with me] In the metamorphosis I was determined to fly I eventually spread my wings and became flyy It was short lived. I was on my way up at the same time I was falling down My grand opening was my grand closing That was my time. ….I thought I was so focused on flying I didn’t think about crashing Now I know what it feels to crash and burn leaving a crater in the Eart I’ve flown. I’ve crashed. I’ve died. I’ve ben reborn. I arose from the ashes like a phoenix. Now my passion burns hotter than ever
My soul is like fire I am beautiful like glass Fragile yet strong Cuz glass comes from pebbles and eventually turns to dust Fire moles the particles Together they bond in the heat. in the flame. Fire is what makes me My trial by fire is what makes me strong. I am transparant I want the world to see my struggle It is through my pain that the world can see my growth I feel no shame For it takes a wound to relieve healing and a pitfall to appreciate a blessing There is no victory without loss or sun without rain I am pain. The moment I stopped fighting was the moment I took my first breath It was the moment I decided that my battle had already been won. The battle was not mine I was at war with myself and the devil gave me ammunition I was given all the tools to kill myself All the resources to take others down with me I played Russian Roulette with my life each roll of the dice… pull of the trigger… Upped ante was me seeking a way out. I was stuck.
I created a jail for myself I built the walls and hired prison guards I was in darkness because I turned out the light So here I am. Living my someday Yesterday I was caged Today I am free My someday no longer exists cuz that’s some “Over the Rainbow” type shit. no beginning. no end. It just is. And I’m happy just being. I no longer need tangiable tools to survive God has my back I received all i needed during my journey to my now My soul has bled all that it can bleed I have everything I need. This is not the end to the book, it is only a closing to a chapter. The main character has been developed The plot still undertermined I am not the writer It is time to enter the renaissance These are the chronicles…. Welcome to the rebirth of Jaz [Excerpt has been taken from the final poem of the second act of my life. The first act, entitled "The Metamorphosis" includes pieces I wrote while coming of age in my teenage years. The second act, entitled "The Dark Ages" includes pieces I wrote while searching to find myself. Poetry from hence foreword will be included in the third act, entitled "The Renaissance or Rebirth"]
